The Let's Hear IT for the Girl Affair
by Denise Allen
Summary: Just some scenes s I try to turn April Dancer into a 3D character. I like the challenge.
1. Chapter 1

Tripping the Light Fantastic

April and Napoleon danced at the formal party of Sir Drake Smithington. Intelligence determined that Lord Smithington had a huge gambling problem. THRUSH gladly helped repay in exchange for use of his remote familial estate. What intelligence did not know was the extent of the operations. When an UNCLE agent disappeared, April and Napoleon were sent to investigate. There was no sign of their agent, so here they were.

April's face was not well known. Unfortunately that was not true for Napoleon, as one of the female THRUSH operatives remembered him quite well. April saw the THRUSH goon count mounting. She clung to Napoleon's neck.

"Plan boss. I'm at fifteen and counting. Another twenty outside if I have to guess." She whispered in his ear sending shivers down his body.

She was his partner for this mission, but still incredibly attractive. Actually he had to admit, she'd been all business, and was an extremely skilled agent. She reminded him a bit of Angelique, but without the lethal aspects. She had made it extremely clear, she was not going there or anywhere beyond business. Though he was disappointed, he was beginning to respect her. She was damn good at her job. He was starting to see Mr Waverly's point. She got into places the men couldn't go.

"Any ideas? "she hissed.

Napoleon shook his head ever so slightly. He reached for his gun. She slapped his hand away from his gun. There was no way they were going to shoot their way out of this. Assuming they escaped the room, there was no where to run. UNCLE reinforcements were coming they needed to buy time. The only way to escape was to make such a scene the goons couldn't touch them.

"Trip me then fall on me. " She whispered in his ear as she saw the THRUSH goons come closer. Napoleon gave her a confused look.

There wasn't time . She placed her leg between his knowing it would bring them to the floor. She also knew she wasn't going to like the results. There was no other way. She twisted as best she could.. It was better to stretch her ankle than break bones. She rolled with Napoleon's weight, and her ankle twisted just as she expected.

She screamed. It really did hurt badly. Napoleon landed partly on her. Napoleon couldn't understand what just happened. They were in a heap on the floor. April kept yelling loudly. She grabbed him dramatically crying loudly. They watched the goons move away from them. Well, that part at least had been successful.

"Get off me." She demanded through gritted teeth.

Napoleon's brain was starting to see her strategy as she clung to him crying loudly. He knew this was intentional. He gave her credit her performance was excellent..

She clung to him so tightly he realized part of this was not acting.

She clicked a piece on her bracelet. "Open channel D. Agent down. We need an ambulance Smithington manor." She ground into bracelet.

Napoleon heard her, and understood her plan now.

"Clever, just wish there was a better way. How bad..."

The owner, THRUSH lackey, came to them disturbed. He knew THRUSH wanted the agent. He wondered what the price would be for this failure.

Napoleon picked her up getting a yelp for his trouble. He demanded a phone to call an ambulance. He knew that was how she intended to get them out of here. Her plan was brilliant. The entire room was focused on them and THRUSH couldn't touch them.

They brought a phone, and he called the UNCLE contact number demanding they hurry. The host offered to drive, but Napoleon demanded an ambulance. " I'm afraid she may have broken something. " He explained.

The ambulance came screeching into the drive. Napoleon carried her outside.

"Password " she whispered in his ear. He nodded. He could hear the pain in her voice. He mumbled to the attendant and received the correct answer .

They were both bundled into the ambulance and off the premises before THRUSH could mount a response.

April leaned back finally relaxing. They were going to UNCLE medical in London, since it wasn't urgent. Napoleon was about to argue, but April assured him she was fine. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "This is better than what they would have done to you otherwise. Sprained ankle or torture? Easy decision. ".

He was furious. She had done this to save both of them. Intelligence had screwed up badly, and heads were going to roll when he got to London. Illya had warned him his womanizing might come back on him someday. It came back on her. He blamed himself.

The rest of the evening was a blur as they wheeled her into the hospital and checked her ankle. She was right. It was a very bad sprain. She was fine, but would be on crutches for at least a month.

He walked into her room. He was very quiet in case she was asleep. He didn't want to wake her.

He sat in the chair next to her bed. It was an UNCLE tradition someone be there when an injured agent woke in hospital. The nurse was about to demand he leave the room. Napoleon shook his head smiling his million dollar smile. He pointed motioning for quiet. The nurse smiled and left him. A few minutes later the orderly brought a cot into the room and the nurse followed.

"Behave. " She instructed. He swore scouts honor, while charming her. He took off his coat, and removed his tie. He laid down on the cot musing to himself. This was the first time he charmed a woman, so he could remain with another. He took one more look at April and went to sleep.

He woke to the chatter of people in the room. He heard April, and she sounded much better. He thought he heard Mr Waverly, but that couldn't be. He was in NY.

He rolled over. "Ah Mr Solo ...Ms Dancer and I were just discussing the mission last night. Superb job both of you . Brilliant plan both of you. I'm only sorry you had to injure yourself Ms Dancer. Quick thinking on both your parts. I need to make preparation for the review before you and I return home Ms Dancer. "

"Sir, ...I will be running?."

"Oh yes, Mr Solo, you will run the intelligence review with Mr Slate, who will be arriving later today. I will see you later Ms Dancer. You both possess the knowledge we need. We shan't keep Ms Dancer here injured. She may coordinate from NY. My dear, we have the UNCLE jet available. I will be happy to have your company. So, much more pleasant than the gentleman don't you know. "

Mr Waverly left them.

She smiled at Napoleon without saying a word.

Napoleon looked at her confused. " Quick thinking on my part? "

She smiled that flirty smile she often showed the public. He could still see the pain in her eyes. She put on a good show including the smile.

"You did fall on me."

Napoleon just laughed. "How are you really? "

"Much better since they wrapped the ankle. The aspirin helps. "

"What exactly did you tell Mr Waverly?"

She smiled. "I told him we needed to make a dramatic exit. That really is your department."

He smiled, " Good idea, but it was your idea, and you know it. You get the credit, whether you want it or not. "

"If you say so boss. Thanks I think. " She offered with a small smile.

"Are you free to go to the commissary before you head out. "

"I think so. Let me get freshened up, and I'll join you. "

Napoleon nodded and left as a nurse came in to assist her. She changed into a long sweater dress. Very fashionable, and also very practical with crutches.

Napoleon was waiting outside her door with a wheelchair. "Your chariot awaits my lady. "

She stifled a laugh. "Thank you kind sir. I do not. ."

Napoleon shook his head. "I hate them too. It's just easier. " She sighed agreeing as she sat. He grabbed the crutches, and they were off.

"My treat my dear" Napoleon joked.

She laughed. "You are too generous, sir. "

The food in the commissary was free.

He smiled. He enjoyed bantering with her, and finally saw what Mark meant when he referred to her as the sister he never had. She was easy to like, even in a platonic manner. A novel concept for Napoleon.

Mark came storming into the commissary just as they were finishing breakfast. Napoleon looked up.

"Napoleon Solo, I loan you my perfectly lovely partner, and this is what you do to her. "

He smiled at April. They told him she was going to be fine,. She was going to be on crutches for several weeks.

His tone was light. " How are you luv?"

"I'm perfectly fine darling, other than our associate is rather clumsy."

"Well, he is rather uncoordinated. Sorry, luv I should have thought about that more carefully."

Napoleon protested teasing. " Mark, buddy. She's delightful, but not as graceful as I expected. It's nothing I can't remedy at home. I will take you about town when I return. "

Napoleon was being his natural flirty self, and April took it all in good humor. "Darling as much as I'd love to go, I've only got two ankles dear. I will be needing them. "

They sat talking about the Intel review. Napoleon promised her he would punish their failures by doing to them exactly what happened to her. Mark supported Napoleon laughing gleefully, like the villain in a bad spy movie.

She knew they were keeping her entertained. She appreciated their attention. Mr Waverly soon came to collect her for the flight to NY. At least she'd be flying in style she thought. The company jet was reserved for department heads. The jet was well appointed, and Mr Waverly was pleasant company. They reviewed the strategic decisions for the choice they made. She quickly realized Napoleon had done as promised and given her the credit for the rescue.

They talked about business and lighter things.

"However did such a thing occur to you that you would intentionally hurt yourself? "

She shrugged. " There was no other way. We couldn't escape .There were too many inside and outside. The scene protected us until UNCLE got there. There was too much attention from everyone including the guests. It bought the time we needed. Small cost considering the other choices. Torture or a bruised ankle. Easy choice in the end really"

Waverly laughed paternally." I knew you were a superb choice my dear. Brains rather than brawn. It always wins. "

She smiled pleased at the praise. Mr Waverly did not offer false raise to any of his agents including her.

"As you said sir. Someone needs to be the brains of the operation." She teased with smile.

Mr Waverly guffawed as the plane headed toward New York.


	2. The Cocktail Hour Affair

The Cocktail Hour Affair

April Dancer walked, well almost ran through the halls of UNCLE. She just flew in from London, only to hear that her partner, Napoleon and Illya had been injured in a THRUSH explosion. No one informed her though all three were seriously banged up none of the injuries were life threatening.

April came crashing into the medical ward. The fact that she didn't hear Illya cursing or throwing things worried her. She did however hear giggling slurred words. She recognized the voices. The nurses at their station were trying desperately to keep a straight face. When she saw April, Mary spoke while trying not to laugh.

April had a worried look. "Hi, April. Relax they're all going to be fine. They're pretty banged up, but nothing life threatening. Just to warn you, they are all pretty doped up right now. We need to thank Dr Wilson. Even Illya has been behaving. Whatever he put in their drug cocktail they're all drunk as skunks. "

April laughed. "What happened?"

Mary chuckled. "According to them, Mark threw Napoleon off the cliff, then Illya threw Mark off the cliff, and the bomb threw Illya off the cliff. "

April looked amused and slightly perplexed.

"It gets better It seems Illya can't find his English, and wants us to find it for him. He tells us he can only speak Russian. He's been telling us this in English all night. We promised Olga and you would look for it. The doctor agreed to put 'vodka ' in Illya's medicine. Mark and Napoleon thought that was unfair. We told them we had to because he's Russian. They decided it was fine, if they could be Russian tomorrow. We recorded the rest for you. "

April snorted. This was going to be fun.

"Go in and talk with them. I think they're waiting for you. "

April shot her an amused glance. "You're enjoying this far too much. "

Mary warned her. "You were the topic of the conversation. "

"Me?" She asked confused.

Mary was laughing so hard it took a minute. "They love us, but they love you more. I'll let them tell you. Also Nancy thinks you're nuts turning down Napoleon. She's the new night duty nurse."

April chuckled knowingly. "Tell her he's all hers. Assuming she can catch him. He's a spy and tends to be slippery that way.

Mary just laughed. "She'll get over it. We all did. "

April walked into the mens room to see her partner and colleagues all in hospital beds with various dressings and bandages everywhere. She turned first to Mark.

"Darling, what did you do to yourself?" She shook her head

Mark and Napoleon giggled.

Illya was trying to focus. The concussion and medicine made him very drunk and very sleepy. They gave him too much vodka in his medicine he thought. He just wanted to sleep now that April was here. He needed to tell her about his English then, he could sleep. "My English is hiding. I'm sorry I have to speak Russian to you. You understand Russian. Please find my English. " Illya begged in English. "I'm too drunk to find it. They gave me vodka. It makes me so sleepy. "

April chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I promise I'll find your English. You'll just have to dream in Russian tonight. Now did you lose any other languages?"

Illya tried to shake his head The vodka made his head so heavy he couldn't lift it. Illya's fell sleep before he could finish his thought. He started snoring.

Napoleon interjected. "The doctor said Illya could have vodka to help him feel better. They gave him too much."

Both men started giggling hysterically.

April snorted.

"What happened darlings?"

"We got exploded. I don't think we were supposed to do that. " Mark declared.

"Of course not. " April smiled to herself. Mary was right whatever was in that drug cocktail was good stuff.

"What happened? How did you all get exploded?" April had to try very hard to keep from laughing.

"THRUSH tried to blow us up. We didn't try to blow ourselves up." Mark stated making sure she understood. "It important you understand that."

Napoleon agreed. " That's right. We didn't try to explode ourselves. THRUSH exploded us."

"Of course." April agreed. "They taught us that in survival school. You are definitely not to blow yourself up. I remember that was very important lesson."

"We're supposed to blow up THRUSH. I think we did it backwards.. I was the comm...uhh leader" Napoleon declared. "Do you think I gave the order backwards?" His mind was getting very fuzzy. The drugs created a euphoric high, and made him very sleepy.

The nurse at the door snorted to avoid laughing out loud.

For some reason Mark and Napoleon found this hysterically funny.

April smiled. "They gave you guys some good stuff in those IVs didn't they.?"

"Uh-huh. " Mark and Napoleon agreed. Though they weren't sure what she meant.

"Oh...the nurses said we should...we're supposed to tell you we love you. And Illya lost his English. " Mark slurred as he tried to pull a memory from his fuzzy mind.

"Thaaats right. Beautiful beautiful Mary. You um you said that right? You know we love you..I love you more. I'm just a better lover." Napoleon declared drugged half out of his head.

Mary turned to April with a look of amused annoyance.

April shrugged. "Well at least he's predictable. "

Mary laughed "Always.."

Mary turned to the guys. " You kept telling us, you loved us and April."

"Nonstop continuously." Mary muttered under her breath to April.

April was trying very hard not to laugh.

Mary continued. "Remember we told you you had to tell April too."

"Yeah. You know that's right I mean I love you like my sister. " Mark was all smarmy drunken confession.

April laughed. "You don't have a sister darling."

"Well, if I had a sister she'd love you like my sister. " Mark declared emphatically.

Mary laughed she couldn't contain it anymore. "Remember boys, I said you had to go to sleep once you saw April.? See Illya he's listening. He's asleep.

Both men pondered this. Illya's head was slumped to the side. He was even snoring, which Mark and Napoleon found fascinating. They both stared at him. "Tovarich, wake up. Remember Mary said we couldn't go to sleep until we saw April. You're not listening. " Napoleon commanded.

April laughed. It wasn't much of a command, and Illya was too far gone.

"I want the two of you to go to sleep now. Illya saw me, and he went to sleep. "

"You sure. Illya saw you? " Napoleon asked.

"Illya saw her. Yeah I think..." Mark drifted off.

"Remember what Mary said. You've seen me. Now it's time to go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning. " She promised.

Mark's eyelids were half closed. Napoleon mumbled something unintelligible. All three men were sound asleep in their room in minutes.

April and Mary came out of the room laughing. "OK, I shouldn't. Give me the recording anyway. "

April left the medical ward laughing to herself. The recording was the best gift the boys ever gave her, even if they weren't aware of it.


End file.
